Over the history of mankind we have gathered together to share stories, and connect with each other and draw strength from our community and tribe. And the need for this is especially strong after we face traumatic and stressful events. After all it is in our deep primal nature to seek connection with others.
A while ago I started this club, the Monday club, for my collegues; it is not a therapy group but more like a camp fire gathering for anesthesiologist where we get to exchange thoughts, “war stories”, and support each other and collectively learn from our mistakes and near miss situations. It is a safe place to share our stories and get support and encouragement from our collegues who have similar experiences,
In my opinion, the need for this is urgent within the emergency care worker community (EMS, police, hospital healthcare staff, fire department) because in our daily work, we constantly come into contact with horrendous and highly stressful events, death, pain, suffering, despair and loss. Not to make it sound too depressing, we also encounter borderline boring every day routine stuff, exhilarating recoveries and joyous turn of events as well. But, the reality of our work is, that the majority of our patients are very very sick and most of them are in immediate danger of dying. More often than not, there are situations where we are forced to face the inadequacy of our own skills, and sometimes the shame and self-blame that come with a failure to save a life. Or even the sadness after we do everything right but still lose the patient.
In emergency care setting, we the professionals, are expected to take on the leadership role and responsibility of the bad situation. In emergencies we cannot show emotions, and we are expected to perform at our highest skill level regardless of our own physical/emotional state or the circumstances.
With a lot of practice this is possible, but if you do this long enough and refuse to unload the pressure and deal with the accumulating emotional burden, you will eventually lose contact with yourself and others. And in the long run, an emergency care worker without empathy will grow cynical, tired and lose all interest in his/her work. Once you start switching off your emotions for protection and self-preservation to fight off anxiety, it becomes progressively harder to stay open, vulnerable and connected even when you are off duty. Undoubtedly the effects of this switch-off will ripple all throughout our lives and also impact the life of our spouses, friends and children.
The work we do in emergency settings takes a heavy toll on all those involved. Mental health issues among emergency care workers are very common but too often unspoken of due to stigma, shame and fear of being labelled as weak and incompetent. Still, too many of us try to resolve the mounting burden of stress and anxiety by self-medicating with alcohol or other substances or in the worst-case scenario; ending it all. It is not a coincidence that emergency care workers , and especially anesthesiologists, have by far, the highest rates of suicide, substance and alcohol abuse problems and divorce rates.
This is why I have started this blog – to tell you that you are not alone. Your tribe is here! You are welcome to share you story or if you are too tired to talk or to reach out, you can just listen and tune in. You are so welcome either way #OpenDoorPolicy #itsoknottobeok
In your darkest hour when the demons come, call on me sisters and brothers and we’ll fight them together.
Photo by Daniel Sundahl www.dansunphotos.com
xoxo
Taru
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